50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School by Charles J. Sykes




Rule 1. Life is not fair. Get used to it.

The average teenager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You cannot control the unfairness of the world. What you can control is the way you react. 


Rule 2.  The real world won't care as much as your school does about your self-esteem. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. 

You can't control the unfairness of the world. What you can control is the way you react. 


Rule 3.  Sorry, you will not make sixty thousand dollars a year right out of high school. And you will not be a vice-president or have a company car. You may even have to wear a uniform that does not have a designer label. 


Rule 4. You are not entitled... (to everything your parents have, or everything you see on TV or in magazines. You will have to work for all of it. And then figure out how to pay for it).


Rule 5. No matter what your daddy says, you are not a princess. . .

Princess have better hopes than her/his parents either continue to foot the bill or leaver her/him a boatload of money in their wills; she/he marries very, very well; she/he wins the lottery; or she/he founds a compnay that comes up with a solution to global warming, a cure for cancer, or an explanation for Britney Spears' Marriage to Keven Federline.  Otherwise, life is likely to be a letdown.


Rule 6.  No, you cannot be everything you dream . . .   

. . . unless you have the talent, education, and commitment to work for it. 

Rule 7.  If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.  She/he won't have tenure, so she/he will tend to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, she/he is not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Letter to a national & social fraternity: Educate, do NOT haze!

I sent a letter to a national and social fraternity after they called me for advised:

(April 26, 2012) 

Please take the time to read this reflection about XX Chapter and YYY Fraternity. I am concern with the practices that XX Chapter is taking to educate your future brothers. 

Take this opportunity to reflect on all the accomplishments that XX Chapter of YYY Fraternity has accomplish. In 2014, XX Chapter will be celebrating 10 years of success in brotherhood and scholarship.

You need to learn to educate the men, your future brothers, to become professionals and leaders in the world of academics and professionalism. You need to learn how to empower, be critical, sensitive, inclusive, and ethical about the practices of our educational process. You need to recognize what are our individual learning preferences, and that not everyone learns the same way.  What is the purpose of the educational process? Who created the traditions of the educational process? Are you educating or damaging your community? 

Throughout the process you preach 'brotherhood.' What does brotherhood means? Brotherhood (noun) may refer to family, fellowship, organizations, alliance, and an association among male siblings. You cannot teach brotherhood by yelling, having others memorizing poems, and doing physical activities. Brotherhood is a development; the bond of brotherhood will naturally develop among each other.  Your responsibility is to have a purpose, be responsible, and respectful to others and yourself. With purpose, responsibility, and respect, you can achieve the principals of YYY Fraternity. 

You need to learn how to validate other experiences by asking rather than assuming, and by listening rather than hearing. You need to understand that brotherhood looks different to everyone, and brotherhood is a two-way street. You must practice and promote self-awareness, hazing-awareness, and safety among individuals. 

I ask you to please reflect on the practices that XX Chapter is taking. You are a young national fraternity, and much more younger local fraternity. Do not let your "traditions" and "educational process" not celebrate 10 years of brotherhood. Instead, you should be working to better serve your brothers, and your community by revamping the ways of educating, thinking, and reflecting. Reinvent and refocus on yourself, do not duplicate.  

Opportunities to attend and participate in conferences

In the world of student affairs there are a lot of opportunities to do research: including publishing, and presenting at various conferences. In the course of my academic work, graduate assistantship, practicum experiences, and professional career I have had the opportunity to attend and participate in conferences.  

I have presented at Latina Youth Conference, Nebraska Cultural Unity Conference (NCUC), Iowa State Conference on Race and Ethnicity (ISCORE), Student Affairs Administrator in Higher Education - NASPA Region IV, Association for the Study of Higher Education Conference (ASHE), American College Personnel Association (ACPA), National Association for Multicultural Education (NAME), among other national and local conferences.

On Saturday, April 14, 2012, I co-facilitated with Gabriel B. and Isaac G. a presentation on academics. We looked at what comes with being a first-generation student to attend college, the importance of academics and linking the importance to struggles to previous generations, and the importance of making the job to higher education. The workshop was presented to the men of Sigma Lambda Beta Fraternity, Inc. during their Midwest Regional Banquet 2012, Iowa State University.

The overarching learning outcomes were to: examine the importance of reflection and academics, create a meaning of what does it mean to be a first-generation student, and identify resources that are available at the university level.

On Thursday, April 19, 2012, Allison R. and I presented a session in the 3^rd Annual Iowa Academic Advising Network (IowAAN) Drive-In Conference. We presented on Ways to encourage, support, and promote [academic] success in LGBTQ students.  We looked at how do we empower LGBTQ students to aspire to be successful. More importantly, how do we, as academic adviser and student affairs professionals, encourage, support, and promote LGBTQ students to be successful inside and outside of the classroom. There is an increasingly significant need to support LGBTQ undergraduate students. We addressed the need through an examination of relevant theory and literature and case studies. The audience participation and discussion was encouraged.

During the presentations we presented a list of terminology on LGBTQ, presented a diagram of sex, gender, and sexuality, and analyzed at a model of coming out. We looked at how as academic advisers, we often times have to provide counseling and mentoring – to help students develop their professional and personal identities.

Allison and I encourage academic adviser to:

·      Become more knowledgeable about sexual orientation

·      Include sexual orientation in definitions and discussions of diversity

·      Use same-sex examples in the classroom/meetings

·      Display safe space signs and other indicators of support

·      Recognize the value of having visible LGBTQ faculty and staff

·      Confront homophobic and heterosexist behavior, and respond to harassment, violence, and vandalism based on sexual orientation

Innocent butterfly

Innocent butterfly. I took the picture on Saturday, April 21, 2012 during VEISHEA 2012 on my way to get a cherry pie.

First Generation Mexican-American (Latino) feeling invisible and lost

As a first-generation student, it is challenging to explain to my parents my college experience, what I do in my professional and academic work. Because the admissions, financial aid terminology doesn’t translate in Spanish. How do we translate the terminology to our parents? Most important, how do we translate our experiences to our parents? As I am speaking I recognize that my parents might not even understand what I am saying (writing), and some other individuals are in the same situation. This is when I have to check if I have lost myself. If I have lost my culture. If I am no longer a Mexicano and Latino. Because I am invisible to society, my family and sometimes myself; I have crossed intellectual, psychological and emotional borderland.

Talking about the Mexican culture is hard work, because it is rich in history, traditions, and culture. We can talk about the Mayas, Aztecs, Las posaditas, independence day, Benito Juarez, Vicent Fox, the government, delinquency, enchiladas, pozole, Cancun, Ciudad Juarez, and many other topics.

It is even more challenging for us to speak about the Mexican-American culture, because we have the privilege and struggles to combine and sometimes we choose one or the other culture. It is hard to understand the complexity of one-self. It is hard to adjust to only just one culture and forget about the other. It is hard to grow-up trying to create my own path to success without guidance, because my parents, my brothers, and cousins did not obtained a degree in higher education, nor did they grew-up in what we, U.S. society, consider a melting pot.

It challenging to explain to my grandparents, parents, uncles, and aunts my struggles because they were raised in what I consider to be not a melting pot, but a salad bowl. The onion stayed the onion, the tomato stayed the tomato, the lettuce stayed the lettuce, with maybe a little Russian or Italian dressing. And it tasted real good. No one lost their identity, strong Mexicanos, and I thought life suppose to be the way. It is extremely important to have this conversations because as time moves forward, we are changing and society is changing us.

George Washington Carver

"One of the things that has helped me as much as any other, is not how long I am going to live but how much I can do while living." - George Washington Carver

As a graduate student in the Office of Multicultural Students Affairs (MSA) Office at ISU, Fall 2010 – Fall 2011, I worked with a team to implement the George Washington Carver (GWC) Scholarship Program by teaching two courses each semester, University Studies 105 and 106, including developing class content and delivery. I also helped GWC Scholars and the MSA Office and other campus departments with scholarship, student recruitment, and retention. In addition to fulfilling the requirements of my position, I made myself an available resource to students, both professionally and personally, by creating meaningful relationships, critical conversations, and developing a safe environment.

In my current position I continue to make myself available to GWC Scholars and the MSA Office staff. This semester the GWC staff invited me to participate on the GWC Academy field trip to visit the George Washington Carver National Monument in Diamond, Missouri.

Yesterday, March 31, 2012, 20 Scholars, a MSA staff and I visited the George Washington Carver National Monument. It was a great experience visiting the national monument. We had the opportunity to hear and learn more about his life, as we were walking and exploring the national monument.

My favorite place was the Carver Trail, a popular place to stop and rest and the Boy Carver Statue is located too, where it is believed that GWC started to experience with plants. Next to the statue a pond is located, then the original foundation of the house where he grew up.

My favorite activity was in the Carver Science Classroom. We created peanut milk. Everyone was given two peanuts, we took the peanut out of the shell, and we smashed the peanuts, and then added water and mixed all the peanuts until it turned white, peanut milk. It was simply and easy.

Often times, GWC is referred as the “peanut guy.” When in reality he was more than just the peanut guy. He was the world’s most significant scientist.

Carver’s inventions and contributions:

• About 300 peanut-products
• Sweet potato products
• Soybeans into plastic
• Wood shavings into synthetic marble
• Cotton into paving blocks
• Crop-rotation methods giving special stress to nitrogen replenishing role of legume products

Carver’s Recognitions

• “One of world’s most significant scientists” – Franklin D Roosevelt.
• Carver Research Foundation at Tuskegee, in his name.
• His birthplace was declared as a national monument in 1953.
• Multiple patents for his inventions (of course!)
• Was widely recognized for his humility
• Honorary doctorate from Simpson College (1928)
• Honorary member of the Royal Society of Arts, England. In 1923, he
• Received the Spingarn Medal in 1923.
• Roosevelt medal for restoring southern agriculture (1939).
• National monument dedicated to Carver and Carver’s inventions (1943 July 14).